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An intimate relationship -- be it romantic, platonic, spiritual or other close relationship -- can seem like an impossibility to adult children of alcoholics.

The alcoholic family is one of chaos, inconsistency, unclear roles, and illogical thinking.

Visitors to the Alcoholism site in answering the question, "How Do You Feel Growing Up With an Alcoholic Parent Has Changed You?

" discuss the difficulty they have with intimate relationships, one of the common characteristics that children of alcoholics can develop.

The secret becomes a governing principle required to hold the family together, the scaffolding for coping strategies and shared beliefs, without which the family might fall apart.

Claudia Black, a leading expert on adult children of alcoholics and author of , says these children grow up with three dangerous rules: don't trust, don't feel, and don't talk.

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